Robbed by Vader II – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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Robbed by Vader II

So Darth Vader is apparently at it again.  This time around, he’s robbing convenience stores in Ferndale, Michigan.  I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.  Robbing convenience stores is about as low on the scale of “dumb crimes” as you can go.  You have no chance of getting enough money to make the long prison sentence you’re likely to receive anywhere near worth the risk, and you’re almost certain to get caught.

In this case, poor Vader is surely going to end up in the slammer for this, since he was apparently within sight of the store’s security cameras before he put his mask on.  I know, you feel like a jackass walking down the street in broad daylight wearing a Vader mask, but come on–if it’s between that and going to Rapeville Penitentiary for 20 years, which would you pick?

I know the guy is probably thinking “How was I supposed to know how far the camera could see?”  Well, that’s the point, isn’t it?  This just proves that most criminals are dumb.  Because with a little thought, it’s pretty easy to figure out all the things that could trip you up on a “simple” robbery like this.   How do you get in the store without anybody being able to recognize you later?  How do you get away without being seen, so nobody can tell the cops what car you were driving?  What happens if the clerk has a gun, and all you brought was a butcher knife, like this guy did?  What if there are other patrons in the store–maybe some of them are packing heat.  Hell, maybe they’re off duty cops, you don’t know they aren’t.   It’s pretty easy to think of about a hundred ways this could go wrong and land you in jail.

The force is weak with this one…

Posted in In The News.