I know I’ve ranted about Comcast before, but fuck it, I’m going to do it again. Because they deserve it.
I’m moving. This sucks and I hate it. What I hate worse, though, is trying to get Comcast to move my service. I’m busy with packing and, more importantly, avoiding packing. Plus I’m an introvert, so taking time to sit down to make a phone call is not something I’m keen to do. I went online, and lo and behold, Comcast has a form to fill out to request a move, right on their website! Oh happy day!
Naturally, I filled it out, and forgot about it, assuming all was well. Then today I came to my senses, realized this is Comcast we’re talking about, and logged in again to check the status of my move request. What do I find? An email, tucked away in my stupid Comcast email account that I never check because who the fuck actually uses their Comcast email account?
It says, hey… guess what? Fuck you if you thought this was going to be handled online! We’re going to call you to “confirm.” (Which of course means, they’re going to call to actually set up the appointment, because the form clearly does nothing at all.) Worse, the number they apparently have attached to my account isn’t even one I recognize. So they may have tried to call me, but I sure didn’t get the message.
Worse, the email exhorts me to simply call them for faster service. “Just think. You’re a phone call away from experiencing XFINITY® and all that it has to offer at your new address!” That’s an actual quote from the email.
I was always just a phone call away from this, assholes! The web form was supposed to help me avoid the goddamn phone call! What you’re really saying is, guess what? That web form? POINTLESS! It’s just there to get your hopes up, busy introvert! All it really did was trigger this form email!
So, it’s looking like I may not get my teevee and interwebs hooked up in a timely fashion at my new place. Why would I expect anything less from good old Comcast?
I discovered that the phone number they had on my account is one they apparently provide me as part of my package. So I logged in to their online voice mail thing, and found a message waiting for me, from the toll free number they wanted me to call. The entire message was a minute long, consisting of thirty seconds of their own hold music, followed by thirty seconds of silence. Oh Comcast. Can you do anything right?
I broke down and called Comcast. It took FIFTY MINUTES on the phone to get them to schedule an appointment to come hook me up at my new place. How could it take this long, you ask? I’d love to be able to say, but I CAN’T. Most of my time was spent listening to the guy type. And type, and type. And then put me on hold for ten minutes to speak with his supervisor. Then type some more. IT’S TWO ADDRESSES! How hard can it be? Apparently, it’s so hard it requires nearly an hour of typing and pondering to complete. How is this even possible? Because COMCAST, that’s how.