Scientists discover the obvious – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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Scientists discover the obvious

Normally I don’t like to bag on scientists. I’m not one of those people who hears about a study concerning the mating habits of squirrels and says “OMG WHO CARES THEY R WASTING TEH MONEYS!” I tend towards the idea that knowledge can only be a good thing, and adding to the total knowledge of humanity in turn is a good thing.  I may not see the point or the use of any particular bit of research, and surely there are times when the money could and should have been spent in other ways–but I have a hard time denouncing anything that adds to our knowledge of the universe.

This is not one of those cases, though.  In this case, some researches from Oregon State University “discovered” that college students don’t eat vegetables. This really required a formal study to discover? Depending on what kind of “scientist” you are, I’m fairly sure at some point you had to have attended college yourself. Didn’t you notice then that college students survive entirely on pizza, beer, and ramen noodles? I spent four years at a typical American University, and I don’t think I saw a vegetable or a fruit the entire time I was there.  Ok, maybe I got an apple from the dining hall once or twice. But more often than not those apples in the dining hall ended up splattered on the ground outside, as I think most students thought they were for throwing at each other.

The scientists blame this lack of fruit and vegetable eating on poor education. I don’t really think that’s the case, though. More likely, a majority of college students were like me growing up: they had to be forced to eat their vegetables by their parents. So is it any real surprise that as soon as they are able to make their own food choices, they choose not to eat those goddamn vegetables anymore?

So thank you, OSU researchers, for discovering the obvious. Next you should “discover” that pizza is awesome, and that the elderly die at an alarmingly higher rate than the young!

Posted in In The News.