Please tase me, bro! – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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Please tase me, bro!

The insanity just never ends with this one. Michael Andes of Shelton, Connecticut phoned in his own parking violation. It seems Mr Andes was super upset about his distinct lack of parking tickets, so he deliberately parked in a handicap zone and reported himself to the cops. This is the first bit of insanity. Mr Andes was apparently trying to prove a point, that point being “I LOVE ME SOME RULES!” Seriously, what kind of person is so worried about the lack of swift and harsh reprisals for parking rules violators that they’ll actually break those rules themselves and report themselves to the cops to prove a point? Answer: People who are Lawful Neutral. In non-geek terms, people who simply love rules and the blind enforcement of rules and care nothing for the rightness or wrongness of said rules or their punishments. We here in the real world like to call them busybodies.

But hey, maybe you tend towards Lawful Neutral yourself, or you’re some other kind of Lawful and at least can sympathize with the urge to see rules made and enforced “properly.” Well, the story gets better (or, actually, worse.) Mr Andes called the cops multiple times in the course of his crusade against his own illegal parking, and finally they showed up and tased the shit out of him.

That’s right! For the crime of calling them to report a crime, Mr Andes got his ass tased by Shelton’s finest. Police say he got “combative” and “screamed” at officers, so clearly they had to shoot electricity through his body. Note they didn’t say he actually attacked any officers or bystanders, nor did he even touch anybody it seems. No, he just yelled at them a bunch. He was charged with breach of peace (I’m going to guess that means “yelling in public,”) interfering with an officer, and of course was given that all important parking ticket.

I have a hard time sympathizing with anybody in this story. I think everybody involved acted irrationally at all times. It’s like some kind of bizarro world situation, with a guy who likes getting parking tickets and cops who don’t want to write them. It hurts my head.

Posted in In The News.