So a few weeks ago it was brought to my attention that science has proven that piracy is a good thing. I mean, you can’t get more official than a blog relating an anecdote, right? All I know is, if it’s on ScientificAmerican.com, it must be true.
Well, as it turns out, I have something I’m trying to sell.Â It’s a book.Â A really bad book! Now, don’t everybody run for the hills, hear me out. I wrote this truly epic fantasy novel when I was a teenager, and for years I thought it was awesome. Well, it aint. It’s actually pretty hilariously bad. So a few years ago, I went through it and decided to do a sort of MST3K job on it by adding over two hundred snarky, self-deprecating footnotes to the text. I packaged that up with the help of my wife, who knows a thing or two about editing and graphic design, and started offering it for sale. Because hey, I like money. Don’t you? Well, as it turned out, most people liked their money more than they liked the idea of owning my book. I sold mumbldy-mumble copies, but failed to rake in the pile of filthy lucre that I was hoping for.
So now I’m going to try a different tactic. Since according to the crazy moon logic of Scientific American, giving shit away makes you money somehow, I’ve started giving away the electronic version of my book.Â You can click right here for the PDF version,Â which is probably the best version to read it in since it preserves the page formatting and keeps the footnotes in their proper place.Â However, I have not forgotten my legion of Kindle followers either–you folks (and anybody else who has an e-reader that can read the MOBI format) can click right here for the .mobi version. If you’re reading this on your Kindle now, you should be able to just click that link and the book will be downloaded to your device automatically. The Kindle version of the book contains the footnotes, but it transforms them into endnotes, and you have to click on the superscript to be taken to the footnote text, and use your “back” button to go back. It’s a little bit more of a hassle, but hey, you paid none moneys for it, so don’t complain!
Of course, those of you who enjoy paying for free shit, you can always go to the Amazon.com page for the Kindle version, where you’ll be given the privilege of paying $2.99 for the same file I’m giving away for free here. Hey, don’t blame me, Amazon won’t let me give it away on their site. They won’t even let me give it away at cost for some reason. Fucking capitalists!
And since science has proven that once you’ve read the free electronic version, you’ll simply NEED to buy the paperback or, better yet, the hardcover edition, here are the handy links you’ll need to do that:
So, have fun! If you have any questions/issues/comments you can comment below, or send me an email.