Yeah baby, that energizes me! – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
Skip to content

Yeah baby, that energizes me!

Did you know that 7-Eleven sells dildos now?  True story.  Check it out:






I first saw these things on the counter at the local 7-Eleven a month or two ago.  It took me a few seconds to realize they’re not technically sex toys–they are, in fact, energy drinks.  The target market is apparently people who enjoy drinking foul tasting liquids  out of dick shaped objects.  No, seriously.

Here’s an actual conversation I had with a 7-Eleven employee:

Me:  “How many teenage girls come in here and buy those ‘drinks’?”

Him (smiling):  “Even more than you think.”

I mostly see these things on counters or end displays, since they don’t exactly shelve well.  It’s almost as if storage and display considerations were not a factor in the package design process!  Let’s be honest here, nobody makes a product shaped like a dildo by mistake.  We all know what the “massager” they sell at Spencer Gifts is really for.  Similarly, I doubt anybody is actually fooled here.  But I wonder how long it will be before someone puts up enough of a stink to get stores to not carry these?  Or, will it end up being tacitly accepted that 7-Eleven sells sex toys, the way everybody sort of smirks knowingly at the Spencer Gifts “massager”?

Personally, I don’t care.  But I bet I’m in the minority on this one.

Posted in Miscellaneous.