Michael Vick: Douche of the Universe? – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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Michael Vick: Douche of the Universe?

I’m about to say something really controversial.  In the vast spectrum of human experience, there are probably close to infinity things you can do that are worse than killing a dog, or even operating a dogfighting ring.  Michael Vick got two years for killing some dogs, while Vince Neil killed a dude and only got 30 days.

That said, Vick is still in the running for the title Douche of the Universe.  Check out the latest.  Dude was let out of jail for a bit to appear before a judge for a bankruptcy hearing.  The man is out of cash!  This is the guy who signed a then-record $130 million contract with the Falcons in 2005, was the face of the franchise and at one time arguably the face of the league, sold merchandise like crazy, had huge endorsement deals, apparently owned a stake in more than a dozen different companies, and now has gone the way of MC Hammer, all because it turns out he’s a giant ass.

Seriously, the dude pissed away all that because he felt the need to fight dogs?  Really?  And worse, he couldn’t just surreptitiously attend some fights, or even travel to places where such things are legal and pretend like that’s not what he went there for (see also:  Thailand and prostitution).  No, he had to actually RUN a friggin dog fighting ring in his own damn backyard with all his thug friends.  How stupid is that?

At least Hammer just spent all his money on houses, cars, and his buddies.  He didn’t lose it because he got thrown in jail for being a damn idiot and suddenly couldn’t do his thing anymore.

The best part is that Vick’s bankruptcy is structured on the assumption that he’s going to resume his NFL career after he gets released.  Really?  The Falcons sure wont take him back.  Is there really a team in the league so stupid that they’d overlook all the negative crap this guy would bring to the franchise and actually hire him?  Oh wait…  yes there is…

Posted in Celebrities.