Dear Xcel Energy,
I thought we had a deal? You would hook me up with that sweet, sweet nectar of technology, otherwise known as electricity, and would charge my debit card every month for whatever you figured I used, based on your magical killer watt meters or whatever. In return, I would ignore the paper bills you inexplicably continue to send me that actually say on them “electronic debit please do not pay.”
Now I get a notice in the mail saying you’re going to disconnect me, for failure to pay my bill. What, really? You mean those ones you send me marked “do not pay?” The ones I dutifully do not, you know, pay? Because, as per our bargain, you were supposed to be helping yourself to my money as you saw fit, and I was cool with that because anything that lets me ignore the piles of crap in my mailbox is fine with me.
Where did this agreement go wrong? At what point did helping yourself to my money with almost no oversight by me stop being agreeable to you? It’s a simple arrangement, really–you take my money, and I ignore your stupid non-bills. One of us was doing his job, anyway.
Now, you know I need electricity, so I’m gonna pay. My computer doesn’t power itself. And eventually my phone will run out of juice, and probably the lights are important too I guess. I’m just a little confused, is all. What part of “do not pay” was I misunderstanding?