How not to drum up business – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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How not to drum up business

Here’s the scenario. You own a cleaning business. And you’d like some new customers. What are your options for getting more people to pay for your services? I can think of a few. There’s the traditional approach of flyers around town, or direct mailings with coupons to neighborhood addresses. You could go high tech and social-media like and promote your website on the Twitters or whatever.

Or, you could break into people’s homes and clean them, then leave a bill. You know, if you’re completely insane like Sue Warren of Ohio. For bonus points, when the police catch you and arrest you for breaking and entering, you can confess to them that you do this all the time. I wonder if anybody ever paid up?

I like this business plan, really.  I’m going to start breaking into people’s homes and writing snarky, unkind things on their walls. Then I’ll leave a bill for my services. I can’t think of a single thing wrong with this plan, can you?

Posted in In The News.