Just stay on the tractor, will you? – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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Just stay on the tractor, will you?

Anybody else totally tired of Brett Favre?  Yeah, me too.  The guy needs to either stay retired or stay not retired.  Pick one, man.

So of course, in case you hadn’t heard, Brett Favre is in talks to return to football with, of all teams, the Minnesota Vikings.

Now, I know not everybody follows football, despite the fact that it has basically replaced baseball as our national pastime.  So for those of you who don’t know how awful this is, let me put it in terms any American should be able to understand.

Remember when Benedict Arnold switched sides in the middle of the Revolutionary War and went to fight for the British?  Obviously you do not actually remember this, unless you are Methuselah, in which case you still wouldn’t remember, since that dude died thousands of years ago.  But anyway, remember learning that shit in history class?  Remember how pissed off all the Americans were when he did that?

That’s about on the level of how Packers fans will feel if Brett goes and plays for the Vikings.  It’s not quite the level of hatred Red Sox fans have for douchebags who sell out and sign with the Yankees, but it’s close.

So what, you ask?  The guy still wants to play.  The Packers didn’t want him back last year and presumably still don’t want him back, and the Jets don’t want him back either.  Why shouldn’t he go play for the Vikings if they want him?

Here’s why:  Because he needs to just retire already.  This is what, the fifth year in a row he’s either retired or “seriously contemplated” retiring and then decided to come back?  Three of those years he basically held the Packers hostage while they waited for him to make up his friggin mind.  Last year he tried to pull a power play to get back on the team after FINALLY retiring only to very quickly un-retire, and the Packers finally just said “Dude, get out of here, you’re not welcome here anymore” and traded his ass to the Jets.  Then he retired after completely screwing the Jets’ chances to make the playoffs down the stretch (in fairness:  he’s also a big part of the reason they were in a position to make a run at the playoffs in the first place), and now he’s going to un-retire AGAIN?  Here’s the real kicker–that bicep injury he suffered near the end of last year, the one that basically caused him to play like complete ass and totally boned the Jets?  Yeah, he didn’t get that fixed.  I guess that shit will just heal on its own.  Magically.  In just a few months!

I’m tired of this.  GO AWAY BRETT FAVRE!

Posted in Celebrities.