The potato chip bandit – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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The potato chip bandit

Thieves are never the smartest people around (if they were, they likely wouldn’t be thieves.) But some thieves defy all logic. Take this asshole as an example. Mr. Benjamin Sickles broke into a local Subway restaurant and stole nine bags of chips. And he dropped so many getting away, the police were able to track him by following the chip trail!

Really dude? Nine bags of chips? That’s the best you could do? The article says he failed to get into the cash register (which, BTW, never has any cash in it when nobody is in the store anyway, dumbass!) But even so, couldn’t he have stolen something more valuable than nine bags of chips? Maybe grab one of those tubs of mayonnaise or a vat of ranch dressing or something. That can’t be any harder to fence than bags of chips! Don’t the chips come in boxes? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to go out back and grab an entire case of chips rather than grabbing individual bags??

I know, I’m applying logic to a situation in which clearly logic was not part of the decision making process at any point. Shame on me.

Posted in In The News.