Sometimes the AP does my job for me. They took the “banana split” joke already, leaving me searching for some way to work in a reference to pies… Nah, it’s not happening. I’ve got nothing.
Best quote from the article: “Parham says the attacker looked like a Spartan from the movie “300” — except he was a banana.” I’m going to start using that “except he was a banana” line all the time. “The guy looked just like Charlie Sheen — except he was a banana.” “I saw this singer on TV who sounded just like Toby Keith — except he was a banana.” “I went to a con once and this guy was dressed up like Reg from the Phantasm movies — except he was a banana.” It’s so versatile!