A-Rod: Finally a champion, but still a crazy headcase – Holy Fucking Shit You're Dumb!
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A-Rod: Finally a champion, but still a crazy headcase

It’s about time we had some more content related to Alex Rodriguez on this blog.  Considering he has his own category and was basically the entire inspiration for this blog, it’s a shame (for me) when he doesn’t do anything dumb for awhile, or some good things happen to him.

But, thankfully, we’ll always have vindictive ex-girlfriends looking to drag the man down.  And we’ll always have US Weekly, that great bastion of journalistic integrity, to give these ladies a forum.

This story has everything.  Well, everything I need for this blog, anyway.  Specifically, it has Alex Rodriguez, and it has Alex Rodriguez being an incredibly self-absorbed douchebag.

The dude allegedly has not one, but two paintings of himself as a centaur hanging in his bedroom.  Let me say that again in case you maybe missed it.  TWO paintings.  Of himself.  As a centaur.  In his own bedroom.

In his own bedroom!

I really don’t think I have to say any more, but I’m going to anyway, because I’m enjoying this so much.  Let’s just make sure we’re all on the same page here.  You know what a centaur is, right?  It’s a mythical half-horse, half-man creature.  It looks something like this here.  Although I find this one to be more representative of the species.

Teenage girls love them because they combine the hunky parts of men with the business parts of a horse.  I think.  Well, for some reason, anyway.  Bottom line is, nobody but teenage girls and women who never matured past the mental age of a teenage girl care anything at all about centaurs outside of D&D or maybe Harry Potter books.

Well, those people, and Alex Rodriguez I mean.  Apparently he loves centaurs so much he wants to be one.  And he went so far as to hire somebody to paint his portrait as one.  Twice.  And then, he hung them up in his bedroom just as if that’s something a totally normal person would do.

This totally makes up for him winning a World Series.

Posted in Alex Rodriguez.